For what were Star Wars figures and other toys built but everlasting war? Mine are more than 30 years old and still have plenty of fight in them!
NOT REALLY A TABLE OF CONTENTS. MORE LIKE A GUIDE:
1: Introduction (sort of)
4: Battle for Echo Base
10: Luke mans up
13: When Star Wars and Star Trek meet
18: The fastest ship in the fleet takes flight
24: Our heroes embark on a long and frankly disturbing hike through my basement
30: Barbie dolls, I mean action figures, take the field
47: Enterprise and Falcon vs. the Borg
51: New friends join the party
65: A new dark force rises
69: Troi has some special news
78: Fleet engagement, heavy capital warships, in my living room
83: Everyone, let’s gather in the hanger bay and fight!
91: Snoopys take things into their own paws.
98: Cease fire, or regrouping, whichever
107: Victory but at what cost in this absurdly long 22-panel strip!
111: Wedge embarks on a new mission, off the books.
116: Time for some Q-and-A.
122: Consulting with ornament oracles!
125: All aboard, Enterprise heading out!
130: Rescue mission time for Wedge and Artoo!
141: Smitty has a rescue mission of his own.
149: The Enterprise approaches enemy territory.
161: Deanna goes into labor, sort of!
169: Childbirth isn’t easy for sentient action figures!
173: Luke gets advice from a long lost mentor.
182: Bouncing baby girl!
186: Battle for the stairs!
200: Falcon’s home.
204: Cat crisis
217: Six Million Dollar barricade battle
Unlike some other stories with toys, these toys’ weapons and vehicles work, especially on each other. They know what they are, but most tend to block that out in favor of their immediate occupations or missions. They definitely don’t care if they’re played with or not! So far, cats have been able to perceive them and their activities, but not adult humans. Their memories and life experiences are based on when they were made – i.e. Luke remembers Hoth, Dagobah, and Cloud City, but not Jabba’s palace or Endor. They’re made of plastic so they can take more damage from blasters and stuff, but unfortunately for them can still feel pain and/or die.
No cats are harmed in the making of this blog.
First, the cats:
The late Henry the cat was born on the streets in northern Flint, Michigan, and was kidnapped/rescued/adopted when he was a kitten, back in 1998. He was named after the school he was found wandering near! Mellow but with a short temper, his biggest frustration in life was humans regarding his displays of anger as cute! He was never too thrilled the webcomic production schedule cut into his naptime, but he lives on in a weird LRW way.
Emma was adopted as a kitten in 2007 from an animal hospital in Clarkston, Michigan. She is an absolute princess, and a good actress. She always hits her mark and never complains about reshoots.
The late Gypsy the calico was rescued as a kitten from the woods in Clarkston in 2010, and I gave her a home. A real scamp, she was a thorn in Emma’s side, since she usurped her role as the baby of the family, but she was always sweet. She was always up for action scenes, especially if she got to knock down a snowspeeder or two.
Lizzie the cat joined the cast in 2013, storming the living room in true kitten fashion. She was confused by the LRW goings-ons, but adapted quickly with the help of a cat laser.
Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. His objectives are familiar: take over the galaxy! His galaxy has changed a bit, but that doesn’t matter. Power is power. But things get cloudy where his son is concerned.
General Sebastian Creebe, former commander of the infamous Death Squad who has risen through the ranks to become second-in-command over all imperial forces. He answers only to Darth Vader, and he better answer quickly and without question!
Stormtrooper: the unflinching soldier of the Empire (except when cats are around). There are many like him.
Snowtrooper: comrade in arms to the ubiquitous stormtrooper. Often fights right alongside them.
Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and rebel general, as devoted to justice and freedom as his father is to tyranny and control. Wields a lightsaber, but not above getting behind the controls of a snowspeeder if needed.
Col. Norris Tapfer commands Echo Base, when it is intact. He’s in charge of all rebel troops and is second only to Gen. Skywalker, but is still handy with a blaster rifle.
Cpl. Smitty or any of the other brave soldiers fighting for freedom in the rebel army. They operate the big guns, scout locations from the back of a tauntaun, or even ride backseat in a snowspeeder.
Maj. Antilles, Lt. Kohlman and the other courageous pilots of the rebel alliance fly snowspeeders, X-wings, even star cruisers if they can get their hands on any. They’re not averse to picking up a blaster pistol or rifle and slugging it out on the ground, though.
Maggie, the rebels’ loyal tauntaun. She carries alliance officers on important missions, packs critically needed supplies, and isn’t above a cavalry charge or two.
Captain Jean Luc Picard
Commander of the Enterprise, determined to carry out his mission of exploration and discovery despite the strange world in which he finds himself.
Commander Will Riker
First officer. Bound by Starfleet’s Prime Directive, but unsure how it applies in the struggle between the Empire and rebels struggling against it.
Commander Beverly Crusher
Chief medical officer. Left without much of a crew to treat, the doctor is driven to help all those in need of it.
Commander Deanna Troi
Ship’s counselor, but also somewhat adrift because she has no crew to counsel. She’s had to deal with a new patient, lately.
Lt. Commander Data
Enterprise’s chief operations officer, who’s also an android. He may have an advantage over his human companions in dealing with their new situation in that he’s always been an artificial lifeform.
Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge
Helmsman, in charge of flying the Enterprise out of whatever dangers they face.
Mallorie, brave in battle, trusted to hold the line against anyone or anything threatening her and her friends. She has a soft spot for anyone risking his life for her, though.
China, a loyal friend who can always be depended on to help.
Cali has taken on leadership responsibilities for her band of Barbies, a difficult challenge in a world filled with enemies, but also friends as well.
Midge, entrusted with keeping an eye on things so no one gets the drop on her fellow Barbies!
Han Solo, space pirate and rebel leader.
Princess Leia, well equipped for combat in her Bossk outfit.
Wishbone, fights for truth and justice just like Robin Hood after whom he is dressed.
Arcturus Rann, last of his Micronaut people who may have recently reached an untimely end…
Mike Power, member of the elite GI Joe Adventure Team. Due to the times he was made, he didn’t come with a gun, but he’s taken care of that oversight.
John Reid, the Lone Ranger. As opposed to killing as ever, but not so much to bouncing a few silver bullets off stormtrooper armor!
Mikuru Asahina, time traveling school girl from the world of Japanese anime.